A BETTER MOTHER

 

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. 

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or because I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.  I have longed and waited.  I have cried and prayed.  I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.  I will notice everything about my child.  I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.  I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him or her and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.  My dream will be crying for me.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child sent to me through fate, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.  I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known the pain.  I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.

I have been tried by a fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.  I have prevailed, I have succeeded, I have won.  So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.  I see it, mourn it and join them in theirs.  I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.  I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth that life can be beyond hard.  I have learned a compassion that only comes from walking in these shoes.  Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

--unknown

Love,
Susan

PSALM 113

Hallelujah!

Give praise, you servants of the Lord;
   praise the name of the Lord.

Let the Name of the Lord be blessed,
   from this time forth for evermore.

From the rising of the sun to its going down
   let the Name of the Lord be praised.

The Lord is high above all nations,
   and his glory above the heavens.

Who is like the Lord our God, who sits enthroned on high,
   but stoops to behold the heavens and the earth?

He takes up the weak out of the dust
   and lifts up the poor from the ashes.

He sets them with the princes,
   with the princes of his people.

He makes the woman of a childless house
   to be a joyful mother of children.

Hallelujah!

Lovingly yours and willingly His,

 

Susan

Happy Mother's Day

 Good Afternoon!

 What a beautiful spring day! I hope you are doing something fun!

I questioned the title of this post for awhile... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. There is a huge range of emotions for so many women on the second Sunday in May. Sunday will be a day when those of us who are Mothers will receive cards, flowers, gifts and hopefully will be relieved of our cooking duties.

For some of you, your Mother's Days is yet to be celebrated. You are still waiting patiently in God's time. Some of you are Mothers without children...you have carried a child, but not to term. Some of you are Mothers, and your child is no longer with you.

Sunday will bring joy, sorrow, frustration, grief, peace, thanksgiving, loss, hope and hopelessness. I have experienced every one of those emotions. Not only for myself, but with many, many women. I have been part of many women's journey to become Mothers. I have prayed for them, answered questions, held their hands, cried with them and hopefully encouraged them.

And then there is a totally different group of Mothers. I have prayed for them, answered their questions, held their hands, cried with them, hopefully encouraged them, reassured them, praised them and I will always love them. Those selfless women who through strength of character, difficult circumstances and broken hearts...have chosen adoption for their child. They hand me a piece of their body and their heart to give the gift of their child and Motherhood to someone. They are my heroes. I am in awe of them!!!

If you are reading this...you have a Mother, you might be a Mother or you might be waiting to become a Mother....but the bottom line is Sunday is Mother's Day. Someone gave birth to you, you gave birth to someone, or someone has given or will give birth so that you can become a Mother.

My Mother died last September, she will always be my Mother and I will never stop loving her. I have never been pregnant and I am a Mother. I am Hannah and Grant's Mother. Molly is Hannah's biological Mother and Teresa is Grant's biological Mother. Loving these two precious women has been part of my life since before Hannah and Grant were born. I will always love them.

 

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, love never ends"

 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY 2013 

THE WALLS IN MY OFFICE

Happy Tuesday,

I am sitting in my office, looking at it's 4 walls. The walls are painted pale yellow...but the wallpaper is one of a kind. Several hundred breathtaking pictures are everywhere. They are of newborns and toddlers and 8 year olds. There are babies that have huge bows in their hair, Mickey Mouse ears, pumpkin suits, crazy, silly, wild  hats, Spiderman costumes and some are in their "birthday suits". Some are bald, some some have "happy hair" sticking up all over their head, there are pigtails and fuzzy little Afros. I see snow white skin, mocha skin, milk chocolate and dark chocolate skin. One baby is eating a crayon, one is examining the inside of her refrigerator, 2 are holding their "4 month old sign", one is wearing a strand of pearls, a little guy has stickers all over his face and there is even a SCARY lion! Birthday cake is smeared all over one's face, one is playing in the sand and one is sticking her tongue out at me! One is in a white wicker basket, one in a swing, one in a field of cotton and one in a funny car. Santa is holding a beautiful baby girl, a proud big brother is holding his new baby brother, and Rick and I are holding the newest "legal" member of a family. There is a mother, just back from Afghanistan, holding her daughter, a picture of a beautiful birth mother and me and a daddy with a smile bigger than the 4x6 photo paper. There a picture of our daughter Hannah, her birth mother Molly, our beautiful granddaughter Finley and me taken at Finley's first birthday party. There is a picture of my sister, her son she placed for adoption over fifty years ago and his Mother.

I can name every baby and every baby's nickname...Elmo, Handy Manny, Jiminy Cricket, Miss Bubbles, Woody, Tigger & Roo, Easter Lily, Miss Peaches, Rugby, Elvis, Miss Pumpkin, Sweetie, Boo, Tweety Bird, Miss Violet, Glo Worm, Tinker Bell and Peter Pan, Little Lamb, Ladybug, Sweet Pea, Miss Garnet, Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse, Miss Butter Bean, Valley Girl, Miss Valentine, Moose, Byrdman, June Bug, Miss Buttercup, Skooter, Winnie the Pooh, Lil G, Frosty, Baby Noel, Linus, Jingle Bells, Charlie Brown and Peter Rabbit.

The pictures remind me EVERY day of the amazing birth parents who have been in our lives and have lovingly & selflessly chosen adoption of their children. They remind me of some of the birth mother's who will be my heart friends....forever!
They remind me of the wonderful people who have come to Family Adoption Services....hoping to fulfill their heart's desire.... to be Mommys and Daddys and what a privilege & honor it was to have been part of their journey.

My breathtaking wallpaper...hundreds of photographs of beautiful children....and in their eyes....the face God.

 

AMAZING GIFT OF LOVE

Good Morning,
I wanted to share a beautiful story with you about one of our "forever families" and their loving and grateful hearts. From the very beginning, this family has shown so much love and respect for their birth mother. They have regularly shared pictures and updates of their amazing child with her. Our couples sign an agreement, as part of their adoption contract, that they will send pictures and updates to the birth parents at their request. This family however has gone above and beyond their commitment. It is not unusual to receive something in the mail from them to be sent to their birth mother and her child without even being asked.

Three weeks ago, we received a letter, several pictures of the baby and beautiful crosses for the birth mother and her daughter. What an amazing gift of love!
I wanted to share this with you as an example of two people who love the woman who gave birth to their child. They are not afraid or intimated by her, but honor her for the selfless gift she gave to them. They want her to know and see that the baby is happy and healthy and well adjusted.

Our goal at Family Adoption Services is to help birth parents understand that placing their child for adoption is a GIFT. That there is no shame in what they are doing. We understand the sacrifice they are making. Our goal is to work with a birth mother or birth parents, helping them make their decision peacefully, knowing that what they are doing is in the best interest of their child, perhaps other children they might have and also for themselves.

If pictures, letters, cards and gifts of love allow a birth parent the peace of mind that adoption is not the end...but allows them a loving connection with the child they share, then loss and grief can turn to joy and pride.
Each time I see a picture of this beautiful child...his smile that lights up a room...I remember the woman who gave him life and will always love him and the family who adores their son and is now a forever family through the

AMAZING GIFT OF LOVE

A Thrilled Forever Family of Three Years

We are adoptive parents of three years now of an absolutely amazing boy. God answered our prayers beyond what we could ever hope. We are blessed by the selfless compassion and strength of our birthmother and finding an agency with such integrity and kindness as Family Adoption Services to help us become a forever family.

Blessings,

From a FAS Family